BETHESDA, Maryland (Royters) – Citing an unacceptably high incidence of injuries, the National Institutes of Health has shut down a project designed to find the best method to self-administer the Heimlich maneuver.
NIH funded the trial at UCLA’s medical school after NIH researchers concluded that the traditional methods were statistically ineffective.
In a statement released by the NIH grants office, Dr. Laura Vineshkova said, “We regret the need to exercise our de-funding option only one year into this planned five-year study. But quite frankly, we were shocked to see the number of trial participants who ended up in the emergency room at UCLA medical center. The unexpected frequency of head, neck, arm, elbow, and chest injuries, among others, was akin to what one would expect when hooligans riot at European soccer matches.”
Dr. Evangelista Fabrionetta, study director at UCLA, said in a press release after receiving notification from NIH, “While we are of course disappointed, we remain hopeful that future funding will be forthcoming to support this particular ‘search for the holy grail,’ at UCLA or elsewhere.”
In a separate but related development, Royters has learned that the vast majority of NIH research staff are single and live alone. That has raised ethical and conflict-of-interest questions among at least a dozen members of Congress involved in NIH oversight.
