Their lovemaking had of late taken on a rougher feel.
It needed—he agreed when she made the suggestion—a bit more force, a tad more submission and dominance, an edginess.
The after conversation that accompanied the cigarettes was exciting, as they acknowledged that they were moving into uncharted territory.
She went so far as to even broach the subject of pain, in as titillating a way as she could conjure up.
She gave him Nine 1/2 Weeks to read, and they also saw the film. They discussed it in great detail, especially the notion of completely giving yourself up to another. She zeroed in on the idea that by ceding all decision-making power to the other, you have in fact gained control through abandon. As she explained to her eager, malleable lover, now that the other has to consider you in every decision, your submission has—paradoxically—resulted in dominance.
Given his middle-class, suburban, and somewhat sheltered upbringing, he could never have imagined just how far into the dark she was willing to go—maybe had already gone—and how close he came to a point from which he might not want to actually return.
Perhaps her sending him away was to protect him, or herself. He often wondered in which of them she sensed the possibility for real danger.
