“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.”
– From Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)
“I work with a woman named Pamela. She pronounces her name with the emphasis on the second syllable (not PAM-uh-luh, but pam-EL-uh). I can’t bring myself to call her by name. That would make me an enabler.”
– From Yours truly
Dear Daughter and Son,
As you prepare to graduate from college and embark on your careers, I’d like to teach you what I’ve learned about the world of work. This is my commencement address. God knows, I’ve paid enough to be so graciously invited by you both!
What I have to impart needn’t take a lot of your time. I’ve given this a lot of thought and decided that everything you need to know can be crystallized in one work experience of mine—a cautionary tale, if you will—and a very short one at that.
I know, you’re wondering how is it possible to reduce more than forty years of employment down to what I’m about to share with you? My answer is that you might not understand this immediately, but in time you will come to see the wisdom of your old man. And you’ll be that much richer for it.
My story is entitled, “Employees Should Be Neither Seen Nor Heard.”
The setting is my office suite. I go to a supervisor (who is seated on a big orange ball rather than on her chair) to ask about the placement of a news story, that is, does it belong under category A or B? She answers my question. Then, and this is the crux of the tale, the following interaction takes place:
Me: What’s the story with your new chair?
Her: There is no story.
Fini.
So my dear ones, take that with you to your new frontiers and hold it close to your hearts and minds. Godspeed.
I work nights, midnight to 8.
I sleep during the day, never enough hours.
I live in a high-rise apartment building, 20 or so floors with hundreds of units. The building is huge, covering almost an entire block.
There are many daytime sounds that for me are impossible to sleep through.
At the top of the list is a sound that had to have been created by Satan himself to torture those of us who struggle for sleep in our upside down existence.
It is the sound of a tapping hammer, as a workman installs new carpeting in a vacated apartment and strikes the concrete floor in the process.
He could be working many floors above or below me on the opposite side of the building.
But I believe that sound can travel miles and enter the sleep state of any hearing person.
Forget waterboarding. Sleep deprivation is where it’s at. And all it takes is a tiny little hammer.
